McAfee SiteAdvisor Blog

Working at SiteAdvisor, we find new surprises every day. There’s always a new scam to discover and new spam filling our in-boxes. As a result of completing thousands of online registration forms that require brick and mortar addresses, we also receive piles of snailmail representing the incredible breadth of the world economy. For this second edition of Mail Call, (read last month's inaugural edition) we've highlighted some of the funniest examples and weaved them together to paint a portrait for the life of a SiteAdvisor alias, who I’ll call Samantha.

Judging by the promotional mail that arrives in the SiteAdvisor loft, Samantha could very well be a hot dog stand owner. How could we come to that conclusion?

Samantha has been receiving promotional flyers from Swine Genetics International (SGI), no doubt targeted to her self-declared interest in pig breeding. Samantha could purchase any one of SGI’s superior show pig sires.

After she found her show pig sire, Samantha would have to bring the creature down. Samantha could figure out how she’d do the deed by using one of the many promotions she receives from weapons vendors. If Samantha doesn’t feel comfortable using a Colt Auto 22 or a Double Shotgun from GunList to slaughter her prized porker, she could use her catalog featuring swords and other medieval armor from The Knights Edge. Porky wouldn’t stand a chance when pitted against Samantha and her Excalibur sword.

After Babe’s crossed over to the great pig pen in the sky, Samantha needs to turn him into a delicious delicacy so he can be used as an ingredient at her Hot Dog shack. She might well turn to her home butcher catalog from Allied Kenco Sales – which promised that it’s “Supplying Everything But The Meat."

Samantha would need to have a hot dog stand so she could take Miss Piggy to market. She could buy a hot dog cart with a full one year warranty from The All American Hot Dog Company. Samantha must work hard to make a living. According to the All American Hot Dog Company, “IF YOU SOLD 100 HOT DOGS PER DAY, YOU WOULD MAKE $26,000 A YEAR. IF YOU SOLD 250 PER DAY, YOU WOULD MAKE $65,000 PER YEAR!� We say, "Go for it, Samantha!"

Unlike SiteAdvisor, whose campaign to warn Internet users about the presence of Web safety threats is uncompromising, Samantha is a woman of many contradictions. Even though she sells hot dogs, the Vegetarian Starter Kit she received from Mercy For Animals may have convinced her to adopt a “healthy and compassionate diet." (Though apparently she still enjoys flipping through the Taxidermy Arts Supply catalog she received.)

If this Web safety thing doesn’t work out for us, perhaps we could join forces with Samantha and form an e-hot dog startup.

We respect the efforts of small businesses who advertise their products through physical mailings and are astonished by the breadth and vitality of global enterprise. We’ll continue to keep you updated on some of the more offbeat promotional mailings, samples, and catalogs we receive as a result of our unending quest to patrol the Web and make it safer for us all.